I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
