my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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