Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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