I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
