I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize