Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
