I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
