I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
