He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
