this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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