Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
