I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize