i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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