what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
