i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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