i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
