I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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