If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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