a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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