We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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