Please, let me fuck your mom
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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