What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
