I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize