is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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