Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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