I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
