how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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