Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i came on her dog
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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