The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize