I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
