So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
