i need an iv and a liver transplant
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize