he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
