when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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