the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
