true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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