Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
