I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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