I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
