i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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