Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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