Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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