I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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