my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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