New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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