Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
