Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize