Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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