um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
