I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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