I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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