woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
