her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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