i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
