it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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