he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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