Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
