Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
