Screwed.edu
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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