i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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