I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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