Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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