Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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