I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
