I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish I only lived at night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
