Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
