why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need to calm my uterus...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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