i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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