He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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